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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the words Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your decision to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly kill any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {